The War Rages On

Last week, Alex (aka “Patches”) got even with me for my little Gorilla Glue stunt. I strolled into my office on Thursday morning to find the entire place shrink wrapped. There wasn’t an inch of office that remained un-cellophaned. It took me a good 20 minutes just to unravel my desk. Then the phone started ringing, and I had to tear through the plastic wrap to try and answer it. By the time I finally did get to the receiver, I was laughing so hard that I had to put the bewildered person on the other line on hold while I composed myself.

Needless to say, payback was in order.

And I had every intention of hitting him where it hurt the most. You see, Alex takes great pride in his stylish, modern and oh so technologically advanced office space. He’s constantly talking about his computer, his RAM, his wireless network, a huge flat screen monitor he bought for himself, a snazzy new antivirus he just heard about… you get the idea.

So I’ve been doing a little shopping after work this week. Scouring the local second hand stores, yard sales, and people’s sidewalks, I picked up some pretty gnarly freecycled gear. Old clunky telephones, the biggest, ugliest circa 1984 computer I’ve ever seen, and a beat up desk chair with a spring poking through the seat, just to name a few things.

Then, last night, I put in a little overtime after everyone had gone home for the day. It took me about two hours to stash all of his posh, stylish office gear in the hall closet and replace it with the junk—I mean treasures—that I had found.

I think the pet rock and tinfoil picture frames make nice accessories, too.

And finally, for a finishing touch, I printed out a letter on company letterhead, stating that due to budget restraints, we had been forced to downgrade his office.

It’s now just shy of 8 am, and I’m just waiting for him to come in…