I love a good laugh at someone elses expense just as much as the next girl, but there are a few pranks that should never, ever, under any circumstances be pulled at the office.
I know the office makes the perfect stage to display your comedic prowess, but, unless you want to make a living doing stand-up in dive bars here, are a couple of pranks you should steer clear of the office:
Plastic wrap on the toilet: This prank may work well at your childrens scouting camps, but in the corporate world it's grounds for dismissal. Imagine the expression on your boss’ face as he or she feels the warm wet sensation of their own urine on their now dirty bottom. I'd be willing to bet that once the boss finds out it was your little trick, the promotion you've worked so hard to get will have gotten flushed down the toilet.
Another prank I've seen pulled on office staff involved a similar outcome.
The gag was to replace the sugar in the office breakroom with Miralax. If you have ever seen Miralax you'll know it's white and could be easily confused with sugar if you aren't looking for it. Once the switch was made the coffee drinkers in the office were in for a long afternoon.
What would be doubly hilarious (but I would never advise) is combining the two previous office pranks into one. Can you imagine the chaos such a prank would create? The office bathrooms would be jammed full of staff all afternoon. In addition, I'd be willing to bet half of the staff would call off of work the next day!
You should never bust out either of these two office pranks unless you are never planning to return to the office. I would, however, suggest this as the perfect parting gift for a bad boss… but hey, you didn’t hear that from me
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Wrap it Up
Did you know the plastic wrap taking up space in your kitchen cabinet can be a great office prank accessory?
Check out these prank ideas for the best way to get the most mileage out of your rolls of Saran Wrap:
The Invisible Force Field-
Once your unsuspecting prey has left work for the day (or if you choose to you can always get to the office early) and the coast is clear it's time to spring into action. You'll need to have on hand about five packages of Saran Wrap to pull this off.
Start by stapling the initial piece of wrap from the spool to the cubicle. You'll want to staple either low or high on the cubicle, just not in the middle. Once you've done this begin walking circles around the cube. You'll create your force field in no time! Let's just hope your victim isn't carrying a cup of piping hot coffee as he hits your force field. (Anyone smell lawsuit?)
Johnny on the Pot-
This one is a little more sinister and relatively easy to accomplish. You'll need only one box of Saran Wrap to pull it off successfully. Start by lifting the toilet seat up and placing several strips of the wrap over the top of the the bowl. Then, after you have them affixed, wrap the roll around the bowl and over the strips you placed on the bowl. Don't over wrap because doing so may give the prank away to any would-be Johnny's. Now, I must advise… as hilarious as this prank is, you probably should relegate it to your friends, overnight stays, and camping trips. Keep this one out of the office, unless you’re looking to spend some time in the unemployment office.
The Dead Mouse-
You'll drive your mark batty with this little gag. All you need is a square of Saran Wrap big enough to cover the laser track device on the bottom of the computer mouse. Once you've secured the wrap the result will be an intermittently working mouse. The jig may be up quickly but it's well worth the look of frustration written all over your coworkers face.
Check out these prank ideas for the best way to get the most mileage out of your rolls of Saran Wrap:
The Invisible Force Field-
Once your unsuspecting prey has left work for the day (or if you choose to you can always get to the office early) and the coast is clear it's time to spring into action. You'll need to have on hand about five packages of Saran Wrap to pull this off.
Start by stapling the initial piece of wrap from the spool to the cubicle. You'll want to staple either low or high on the cubicle, just not in the middle. Once you've done this begin walking circles around the cube. You'll create your force field in no time! Let's just hope your victim isn't carrying a cup of piping hot coffee as he hits your force field. (Anyone smell lawsuit?)
Johnny on the Pot-
This one is a little more sinister and relatively easy to accomplish. You'll need only one box of Saran Wrap to pull it off successfully. Start by lifting the toilet seat up and placing several strips of the wrap over the top of the the bowl. Then, after you have them affixed, wrap the roll around the bowl and over the strips you placed on the bowl. Don't over wrap because doing so may give the prank away to any would-be Johnny's. Now, I must advise… as hilarious as this prank is, you probably should relegate it to your friends, overnight stays, and camping trips. Keep this one out of the office, unless you’re looking to spend some time in the unemployment office.
The Dead Mouse-
You'll drive your mark batty with this little gag. All you need is a square of Saran Wrap big enough to cover the laser track device on the bottom of the computer mouse. Once you've secured the wrap the result will be an intermittently working mouse. The jig may be up quickly but it's well worth the look of frustration written all over your coworkers face.
Monday, September 27, 2010
Playtime at the Copier
So, it’s been far too quiet around my office lately. You know what that means: time to stir things up a bit!
I decided to focus my efforts on the communal office space that houses the office equipment that we all use on a daily basis. To be honest, I first got the idea while my company was going through a remodeling job not to long ago-- putting in computer flooring and a bunch of other cool techie types of things. I dreamed up the idea of having a voice recognition program installed on the office copier.
Of course the real beauty of this particular program is that it doesn’t exist. I had to let the office receptionist in on it, but it was completely worth it.
First, I called on a friend of mine who used to do office repair work. I had him come to the office and pretend to install this new "software" on the copier. It went over pretty well. I had him use the office receptionist to "test it out" in full view of the cube farm, and all seemed to go well. No one in the office even seemed to notice. Then I had the secretary send out an email to the office announcing the new change and attach some instructions I made up.
This prank was aimed at the guy in the cubicle three down from me who’s always acting like he is “Mr. Technology”. My detailed (and completely fake) instructions called for using the swipe card we use to enter the building to log onto the new and improved copier. When swiping for the first time, the instructions called for each employee to loudly state their name in order to activate the program.
This is where the fun began.
It was as if each employee was announcing they had been duped each time they did it. Even better was that the three that did it before everyone caught on actually yelled their names quite loudly (much to my delight)!
The icing on the cake for me was that my pal stuck a little gadget on the side of the copier that was voice activated. When people went up and shouted their names it said something like back like "you're a real idiot" or "did you shower this morning?"
Success!
I decided to focus my efforts on the communal office space that houses the office equipment that we all use on a daily basis. To be honest, I first got the idea while my company was going through a remodeling job not to long ago-- putting in computer flooring and a bunch of other cool techie types of things. I dreamed up the idea of having a voice recognition program installed on the office copier.
Of course the real beauty of this particular program is that it doesn’t exist. I had to let the office receptionist in on it, but it was completely worth it.
First, I called on a friend of mine who used to do office repair work. I had him come to the office and pretend to install this new "software" on the copier. It went over pretty well. I had him use the office receptionist to "test it out" in full view of the cube farm, and all seemed to go well. No one in the office even seemed to notice. Then I had the secretary send out an email to the office announcing the new change and attach some instructions I made up.
This prank was aimed at the guy in the cubicle three down from me who’s always acting like he is “Mr. Technology”. My detailed (and completely fake) instructions called for using the swipe card we use to enter the building to log onto the new and improved copier. When swiping for the first time, the instructions called for each employee to loudly state their name in order to activate the program.
This is where the fun began.
It was as if each employee was announcing they had been duped each time they did it. Even better was that the three that did it before everyone caught on actually yelled their names quite loudly (much to my delight)!
The icing on the cake for me was that my pal stuck a little gadget on the side of the copier that was voice activated. When people went up and shouted their names it said something like back like "you're a real idiot" or "did you shower this morning?"
Success!
Monday, September 20, 2010
Three Computer Pranks to Try
Ah, computers. They keep the office running smoothly. And, with a little creativity, they can be the basis of a hilarious (and easy to pull) prank, as well. Here’s a look at three computer pranks to pull on your office nemesis:
The Add/Remove Programs gag
There are programs to be found online or at serious prank stores that, once installed, will make the person using their computer think that all the programs on their computer are being uninstalled. The look on your cube mate’s face is usually priceless. This prank is double priceless if the poor sap you prank is one of those really uptight fellows (or ladies) who are over protective of their computers. (Triple bonus points if you get someone on the verge of tears!)
Auto correction confusion
If the person you want to prank is a “power user” of word processing programs like Word, this one will drive them crazy. By going into the internal settings of your victim’s computer you can set the system to switch very common words for whatever you want. You can, for example, take the word "The" and turn it into something like "fart bomb.” This little gag will drive a person crazy until they figure out why it's happening, if they are able to figure it out at all.
The ole switch-a-roo the mouse trick
For a good laugh hit the office a little early one morning and play this neat little game on an office partner. Go into the control panel (as long as it's not a Mac) on his computer and find the settings for the mouse. What you do is you swap the buttons of the mouse. As in ... make a right click a left click, a left click a right click and voilà you will have just confounded the bejeezus out of him. It'll drive him crazy for a few minutes before he falls to his knees begging for help. I like it when they beg
The Add/Remove Programs gag
There are programs to be found online or at serious prank stores that, once installed, will make the person using their computer think that all the programs on their computer are being uninstalled. The look on your cube mate’s face is usually priceless. This prank is double priceless if the poor sap you prank is one of those really uptight fellows (or ladies) who are over protective of their computers. (Triple bonus points if you get someone on the verge of tears!)
Auto correction confusion
If the person you want to prank is a “power user” of word processing programs like Word, this one will drive them crazy. By going into the internal settings of your victim’s computer you can set the system to switch very common words for whatever you want. You can, for example, take the word "The" and turn it into something like "fart bomb.” This little gag will drive a person crazy until they figure out why it's happening, if they are able to figure it out at all.
The ole switch-a-roo the mouse trick
For a good laugh hit the office a little early one morning and play this neat little game on an office partner. Go into the control panel (as long as it's not a Mac) on his computer and find the settings for the mouse. What you do is you swap the buttons of the mouse. As in ... make a right click a left click, a left click a right click and voilà you will have just confounded the bejeezus out of him. It'll drive him crazy for a few minutes before he falls to his knees begging for help. I like it when they beg
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Pranking Perfected
At work the other day, a coworker of mine tried to pull a prank on our boss. Alas, he ended up getting caught red handed with his hand in the proverbial cookie jar.
Needless to say, the boss man wasn't very happy about finding him alone in his office, either. I told the newly minted office hall monitor that unless he plans on a change of careers he should plan his next prank a little more carefully.
Just between you and I, he told me he didn't really plan at all. Go figure.
So, for those of you who aspire to become a legendary office prankster here are a few tips to help you prepare to prank:
Less is more
The more people who know you are planning a prank, the less likely it is to ever get off the ground. Only tell people who have a real need to know. Don't get over excited and spill the beans early. No prank has ever achieved maximum effectiveness by having an early coming out party.
Patience is indeed a virtue
This is one time you'll need to wait for the prefect environment to develop. Think of yourself as a tiger. No self respecting tiger would announce he was about to pounce, he'd just pounce. Say it with me, "Wait for it ... Wait for it ... Maul it!!" In the world of pranking timing really is everything.
Don't show up empty handed
Nothing worse than having your plan together, going on you way to execute it and then BAM! You discover you left half your prank supplies behind. Think like a boy scout and be prepared.
Follow these three basic guidelines and you'll increase your chances of success threefold. You'll also reduce your risk of getting caught with you pants down then next prank you pull.
Needless to say, the boss man wasn't very happy about finding him alone in his office, either. I told the newly minted office hall monitor that unless he plans on a change of careers he should plan his next prank a little more carefully.
Just between you and I, he told me he didn't really plan at all. Go figure.
So, for those of you who aspire to become a legendary office prankster here are a few tips to help you prepare to prank:
Less is more
The more people who know you are planning a prank, the less likely it is to ever get off the ground. Only tell people who have a real need to know. Don't get over excited and spill the beans early. No prank has ever achieved maximum effectiveness by having an early coming out party.
Patience is indeed a virtue
This is one time you'll need to wait for the prefect environment to develop. Think of yourself as a tiger. No self respecting tiger would announce he was about to pounce, he'd just pounce. Say it with me, "Wait for it ... Wait for it ... Maul it!!" In the world of pranking timing really is everything.
Don't show up empty handed
Nothing worse than having your plan together, going on you way to execute it and then BAM! You discover you left half your prank supplies behind. Think like a boy scout and be prepared.
Follow these three basic guidelines and you'll increase your chances of success threefold. You'll also reduce your risk of getting caught with you pants down then next prank you pull.
Monday, September 13, 2010
Pranking 101: Pick Your Victim Wisely
I remember the day (it would be around the third grade or so) when I discovered the wonders of the spitball. Being a girl made spitballing all the more fun as I sat in math class.
See the boys never expected to get plunked by me and the teachers lived in denial that my cute innocent face was capable of such a despicable act. So I flew under the spitball radar for much of elementary school. My spitballing actually served to prepare me for life. It was through spitballs I learned who to prank at work and who to stay away from.
Here is a short list of three types of people NOT to prank unless you want to get spanked (and not in the fun way many of you are thinking).
First up is a guy I liked to call Stinky McStinkface.
You’ll recognize Mr. McStinkface by the way his shoulders sag and his mouth has that permanent upside down look to it. He’s the guy with the polyester pants, a sleek comb over, and no sense of style or joy because he learned long ago the world hates him. Prank Stinky McStinkface and you may wind up dialing 9-1-1. (Or the nearest unemployment office)
Then we have Nancy the Narc.
Seems no one likes a tattle-tale as an adult, either. But, alas, they have managed to slither their way into offices the world over. You may want to bask in the glory of your slickest prank yet, but inviting Miss Nancy is sure to get you called to the boss’s office for … you guessed it … a spanking. So prank this candy ass at your own peril.
Finally we are left with the quasi nerd slash minister’s son I like to call Dave the Do-gooder.
Dave’s the kind of guy who’ll smile as you pull your prank and then once you gone, he’ll pray for your deliverance from sin and slip a note to the boss. This ultimately wins you… that’s right… another spanking.
The bottom line here? If you are going to prank at the office do what I did. Start small with spitballs and work your way up.
See the boys never expected to get plunked by me and the teachers lived in denial that my cute innocent face was capable of such a despicable act. So I flew under the spitball radar for much of elementary school. My spitballing actually served to prepare me for life. It was through spitballs I learned who to prank at work and who to stay away from.
Here is a short list of three types of people NOT to prank unless you want to get spanked (and not in the fun way many of you are thinking).
First up is a guy I liked to call Stinky McStinkface.
You’ll recognize Mr. McStinkface by the way his shoulders sag and his mouth has that permanent upside down look to it. He’s the guy with the polyester pants, a sleek comb over, and no sense of style or joy because he learned long ago the world hates him. Prank Stinky McStinkface and you may wind up dialing 9-1-1. (Or the nearest unemployment office)
Then we have Nancy the Narc.
Seems no one likes a tattle-tale as an adult, either. But, alas, they have managed to slither their way into offices the world over. You may want to bask in the glory of your slickest prank yet, but inviting Miss Nancy is sure to get you called to the boss’s office for … you guessed it … a spanking. So prank this candy ass at your own peril.
Finally we are left with the quasi nerd slash minister’s son I like to call Dave the Do-gooder.
Dave’s the kind of guy who’ll smile as you pull your prank and then once you gone, he’ll pray for your deliverance from sin and slip a note to the boss. This ultimately wins you… that’s right… another spanking.
The bottom line here? If you are going to prank at the office do what I did. Start small with spitballs and work your way up.
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