Mistletoe be Gone

This is the time of the year we all can kiss random people and have an excuse for our surprising lip locks. Whether it be the cute guy in accounting or the boss’ new secretary (I'll leave your minds to wonder which one I would hunt down), mistletoe can make the annual Christmas party a lot fun than just listening to the proverbial butt kissing that goes on. But what about other people? What about catching someone totally off the wall, I mean if we could?

Take that notion and spin it on its head. This short entry is going to be able a list of people you would NOT want to get caught under the mistletoe with.

Former President George W. Bush-My thought here is that since the former president couldn't get his lips to work properly half the time he was talking to us what would be the realistic chances he'd know how to give a good kiss?

Steve Buscemi-My mother always told me that there was more to a man than what he looked like. I have done my best to live up to this higher standard, but holy hell. Have you taken a good look at Buscemi lately? This guy is the poster boy for fugly. The poor guys looks make me think I'd be kissing a catfish! It is bad enough he has been partially naked in his new HBO series "Boardwalk Empire".

Kim Jong-il-As the president of North Korea he wields supreme power over the masses and drives the leaders of the world’s super powers crazy with his own craziness. Now, if I were a young North Korean woman invited to the presidential palace for a Christmas party, I would spend the entire event cutting down every single mistletoe I could find. I would find it my civic duty to relieve any woman of the chance this sawed off smash faced little man would get with 10 miles of our pouty and supple lips.

Prank Wars: Tips for Winning the Battle

Ever been involved in a full out prank war? For those of you that aren’t sure, allow me to elaborate: in essence, it starts with a couple of simple jokes, gags and goofs played between two coworkers… and eventually turns into a vicious payback circle.

Let the war games begin…

Now before you go out and outfit yourself in Kevlar and Post-It notes, there are a few things to keep in mind: First, once you begin a prank war there is generally no going back. Once started, these things tend to take on a life of their own: there is really no telling when it will end.

But if you have gotten your self in one of theses messy situations, then it’s essential that you make sure that you always have a prank at the ready so that when you get hit with a particularly gruesome one, you have your payback at the ready. This helps over whelm your opponent, and can often deter them from wanting to try and hit you again in the immediate future.

In the end, the simple truth is that the person with the most high quality pranks is the one who is wins the war.

One last word of caution: a strike from the opposition can come at any time. Be on the lookout at all times. Your opponent will be looking to exploit any and all weaknesses on your part. They can and will strike when you least expect it. Stay safe and have fun. And most of all, remember: whether you are victim or instigator, the real goal is liven up the workday and get in a few laughs.

Christmas Joy!

Malls filled with shoppers, great deals everywhere and Santa's home temporarily at the end of the mall right in front of JCPenny. It must be Christmas time for sure yes? As the song says it's the most wonderful time of the year indeed. It is also one of the best times of the year to pull of some of the best pranks that will be remembered for years to come, and some of them will no doubt be passed down the family tree each holiday season.

Let's see, what are some of my favorite pranks to pull this time of the year.

I'll start with the ceremonial lighting of the outdoor Christmas decorations. One of the things I like to do is find the strings my dad uses each year and strategically twist out one or two of them. This creates for the rest of the family quite a show as we watch dad curse and fume after hours of climbing up and down the ladder to get them put up. You might think it cruel, we just look at it as another holiday show we get to watch.

The old box in a box. Every year I get someone with this timeless little gag. The joy it gives me is multiplied each year as I find ways to pack as many boxes inside one another as i possibly can. The result is a very frustrated reciever of my gift and laughs all around the living room with each successive box opened that led another. The best was the year I packed a quarter inside 13 boxes. The look on my kid brothers face was worth way more than that quarter.

Finally, I'll share with you the best prank of them all. Again, you might find this a bit unkind but I get a kick out of it every year.

I switch presents.

I'll wait until everyone goes to bed and then grab a load of gifts and switch the tags. Since I almost always help my mother wrap the gifts I know which ones to shift for the biggest laughs on Christmas morning. Best ever? My little brother excitedly ripped through the wrapping paper of what he was sure was a electronic drum set he wanted and found an Easy Bake Oven!

Ride 'Em Cowboy

Ok ladies, I’m sure you’ll agree with me on this one—there are cowboys, and then there are wanna-be cowboys. The real cowboys are the ones that know how to handle their rifle (pun intended), own a pick up truck that they love only slightly less than their woman, and would never, ever dream of ordering a cosmopolitan at a bar. In fact, they most likely wouldn’t be caught dead in a bar that serves cosmos in the first place.

Then there the wanna be cowboys. The ones that blare their country music just a little too loud, and wear designer jeans instead of worn out wranglers. Unfortunately, my office is home to one of these wishful thinking cowboys. Don’t get me wrong, I am a city slicker who loves herself some Rascal Flatts. But I would never try and convince people that I was an Iowa farm girl. Alas, he is not as aware as I am.

And that’s what makes the prank that the boys from accounting pulled on him so hilarious. Now, if anyone out there is thinking of pulling this stunt in their own place of work they should make sure to get permission from the boss man beforehand, lest they find themselves shoveling manure for a week in repentance for their sins.

First, they threw down a sheet of plastic on his cubicle floor, and they put a couple of squares of sod down over the plastic sheeting. Then they pinned up a huge cartoon farm on the cube wall, just to make him feel at home. A couple of bales of hay and a basket or two of eggs later, and the newly designed space was ready for its final touch:

They removed the unsuspecting entrepreneur’s desk chair and replaced it with a fuzzy miniature horse. Welcome home, cowpolk!

Happy Prank-Tober!

The leaves on the trees around my apartment are bursting with color and there's beginning to be a bit of a chill in the air. Birds are heading south, farmers are harvesting and the pumpkin patch is ripe for the picking. All of these signs can only mean one thing. It's Prank-tober and time to check out some of the goulishly funnies found on Youtube.

Halloween Pranks by PrankedUpon-


Want to scare the devil out of some random folks? Pull up a bench and take a look at one way to send them off running.

Kids scare the hell out of there Dad by gabehicks-Several Australian kids set up a staged crime scene to scare Dad. They provide some down and dirty instructions on how to pull off this prank before setting their trap. Would make a great Halloween gag!

Funny Halloween Prank by irishqueen208-



What looked like a rather benign youtube video turned into something pretty funny. I would love to see this prank pulled off. You'll want to bone up on your anatomy and physiology for this one. Would be the perfect Halloween prank to use at a nightclub. It would fit wonderfully in the ladies room.

Funny scary pranks part 2 by robertjan93-


This is a minute long collection of Halloween pranks aired on what appears to be an episode of America's Funniest Home Videos. The link does provide some pretty good ideas for scarying the socks off of your friends and family.

Momma meets Dracula scared to death Halloween prank by maxshannon-This short and sweet video is just the right thing for the novice prankster. Requires minimal setup and achieves maximum fright in just a few short seconds. I am going to try this one on my room mate. Warning: if your room mate is a big scaredy cat like mine you may want to have puppy pads on hand.

Happy Halloween my fellow pranksters!

Prank of the Month: I Wanna Sex you Up

Hey everyone. Ok, this month’s prankster extraordinare is Kelly, from Houston, Texas. I could not stop laughing when I read this email, and I had to send her a note asking for more details about what happened once she and her pals actually pulled off this nefarious little ploy. Hopefully she’s still employed and will us all in on what happened:

”Often, as I sit with my compadres at lunch, we talk about ways we'd like to get back at our boss (well, either him or the building custodian who never seems to be able to refill the toilet paper). Our plans for revenge run the gamut.

We've discussed everything from having a secret camera installed in his office (kind of afraid to see what he does in there late at night) to getting a group of the brawny boys and picking up his car and hiding it behind the building.

Yet nothing seemed to peak our interest until...

Graham, our resident computer tech, suggested something of the unsavory variety and all of our ears perked up like a pack of dogs sensing the hunt.

Phone sex prank call.

This will take cunning, advanced scouting and a level of deception unseen since I wielded a similarly artful manipulation upon a former boyfriend I suspected of cheating.

The high jinx was on!

First, we round up a sweet sultry sounding college girl from campus and offered her a $20 iTunes card to play the roll of the naughty operator. We gave her a script full of things a madam would blush upon hearing and told her we would call her when we were ready for the prank call.

Next we paid off his office assistant with lunch at the swank restaurant down the block from the office. Free eats at cool digs gets them every time. She would be in charge of getting the call to the boss.

Finally, we got some really cheesy porn flick music recorded and ready for airing over the office intercom system.

The pump was primed and ready to go.

Let's just hope the boss doesn't explode!”

Prank ‘Em Until they Smile

It's been a hectic day around the office. People are all sorts of cranky because of the new processes institued last week involving taking sick days and scheduling vacations. While most of my office buds are busy sounding the "I hate this place" alarm, I was holed up in my cubby little cubicle planning my shenanigans. I can’t stand to see people bummed so it is now, after much planning (ok not really "much" but hopefully enough) that I begin to spring my plans into action. Hey, if nothing else, I’m hoping to elicit a few chuckles from my cranky fellow employees.

I began by switching the laces in my running shoes and then coloring the white laces hot pink. Everytime I catch someone starring down at them as I walk by I tell them I haven't misplaced them since I made this subtle change.

This little mixer upper gets me a few glares (from management), a few stares (from the hoity toity girls in new accounts) and one genuine belly laugh from Ezmerelda the cleaning lady.

But I was not spreading nearly the amount of joy I anticipated, so I moved on to phase two of my plan.

I wrote a very well thought out email detailing my support for Elmo versus Oscar the Grouch in the Battle of the Childrens Television Network. I pose intelligent arguments for why Elmo should reign supreme and why his second in command should be the number 9. I forward this email throughout the office's global email listings and wait patiently for replies.

This gag gets plenty of returns. Most of the email replies are in support of Elmo with less than 10 percent decenting and in favor of Oscar the Grouch (from, you guessed it, the management).

My last and final prank is pretty low budget and low maintenance according to the prank standards of my humorous peers.

I paged myself over the office intercom and wait to see how long it takes anyone to stroll by my cubicle and inform me that I am looking for me.

A day that began cranky and full of contempt morphed into one filled with a few laughs. Hopefully, I have inspired a few of my fellow coworkers to spread the cheer, as well.

Office Prank No-No’s

I love a good laugh at someone elses expense just as much as the next girl, but there are a few pranks that should never, ever, under any circumstances be pulled at the office.

I know the office makes the perfect stage to display your comedic prowess, but, unless you want to make a living doing stand-up in dive bars here, are a couple of pranks you should steer clear of the office:

Plastic wrap on the toilet: This prank may work well at your childrens scouting camps, but in the corporate world it's grounds for dismissal. Imagine the expression on your boss’ face as he or she feels the warm wet sensation of their own urine on their now dirty bottom. I'd be willing to bet that once the boss finds out it was your little trick, the promotion you've worked so hard to get will have gotten flushed down the toilet.

Another prank I've seen pulled on office staff involved a similar outcome.

The gag was to replace the sugar in the office breakroom with Miralax. If you have ever seen Miralax you'll know it's white and could be easily confused with sugar if you aren't looking for it. Once the switch was made the coffee drinkers in the office were in for a long afternoon.

What would be doubly hilarious (but I would never advise) is combining the two previous office pranks into one. Can you imagine the chaos such a prank would create? The office bathrooms would be jammed full of staff all afternoon. In addition, I'd be willing to bet half of the staff would call off of work the next day!

You should never bust out either of these two office pranks unless you are never planning to return to the office. I would, however, suggest this as the perfect parting gift for a bad boss… but hey, you didn’t hear that from me

Wrap it Up

Did you know the plastic wrap taking up space in your kitchen cabinet can be a great office prank accessory?

Check out these prank ideas for the best way to get the most mileage out of your rolls of Saran Wrap:

The Invisible Force Field-
Once your unsuspecting prey has left work for the day (or if you choose to you can always get to the office early) and the coast is clear it's time to spring into action. You'll need to have on hand about five packages of Saran Wrap to pull this off.

Start by stapling the initial piece of wrap from the spool to the cubicle. You'll want to staple either low or high on the cubicle, just not in the middle. Once you've done this begin walking circles around the cube. You'll create your force field in no time! Let's just hope your victim isn't carrying a cup of piping hot coffee as he hits your force field. (Anyone smell lawsuit?)

Johnny on the Pot-
This one is a little more sinister and relatively easy to accomplish. You'll need only one box of Saran Wrap to pull it off successfully. Start by lifting the toilet seat up and placing several strips of the wrap over the top of the the bowl. Then, after you have them affixed, wrap the roll around the bowl and over the strips you placed on the bowl. Don't over wrap because doing so may give the prank away to any would-be Johnny's. Now, I must advise… as hilarious as this prank is, you probably should relegate it to your friends, overnight stays, and camping trips. Keep this one out of the office, unless you’re looking to spend some time in the unemployment office.

The Dead Mouse-
You'll drive your mark batty with this little gag. All you need is a square of Saran Wrap big enough to cover the laser track device on the bottom of the computer mouse. Once you've secured the wrap the result will be an intermittently working mouse. The jig may be up quickly but it's well worth the look of frustration written all over your coworkers face.

Playtime at the Copier

So, it’s been far too quiet around my office lately. You know what that means: time to stir things up a bit!

I decided to focus my efforts on the communal office space that houses the office equipment that we all use on a daily basis. To be honest, I first got the idea while my company was going through a remodeling job not to long ago-- putting in computer flooring and a bunch of other cool techie types of things. I dreamed up the idea of having a voice recognition program installed on the office copier.

Of course the real beauty of this particular program is that it doesn’t exist. I had to let the office receptionist in on it, but it was completely worth it.

First, I called on a friend of mine who used to do office repair work. I had him come to the office and pretend to install this new "software" on the copier. It went over pretty well. I had him use the office receptionist to "test it out" in full view of the cube farm, and all seemed to go well. No one in the office even seemed to notice. Then I had the secretary send out an email to the office announcing the new change and attach some instructions I made up.

This prank was aimed at the guy in the cubicle three down from me who’s always acting like he is “Mr. Technology”. My detailed (and completely fake) instructions called for using the swipe card we use to enter the building to log onto the new and improved copier. When swiping for the first time, the instructions called for each employee to loudly state their name in order to activate the program.

This is where the fun began.

It was as if each employee was announcing they had been duped each time they did it. Even better was that the three that did it before everyone caught on actually yelled their names quite loudly (much to my delight)!

The icing on the cake for me was that my pal stuck a little gadget on the side of the copier that was voice activated. When people went up and shouted their names it said something like back like "you're a real idiot" or "did you shower this morning?"

Success!

Three Computer Pranks to Try

Ah, computers. They keep the office running smoothly. And, with a little creativity, they can be the basis of a hilarious (and easy to pull) prank, as well. Here’s a look at three computer pranks to pull on your office nemesis:

The Add/Remove Programs gag
There are programs to be found online or at serious prank stores that, once installed, will make the person using their computer think that all the programs on their computer are being uninstalled. The look on your cube mate’s face is usually priceless. This prank is double priceless if the poor sap you prank is one of those really uptight fellows (or ladies) who are over protective of their computers. (Triple bonus points if you get someone on the verge of tears!)


Auto correction confusion
If the person you want to prank is a “power user” of word processing programs like Word, this one will drive them crazy. By going into the internal settings of your victim’s computer you can set the system to switch very common words for whatever you want. You can, for example, take the word "The" and turn it into something like "fart bomb.” This little gag will drive a person crazy until they figure out why it's happening, if they are able to figure it out at all.

The ole switch-a-roo the mouse trick
For a good laugh hit the office a little early one morning and play this neat little game on an office partner. Go into the control panel (as long as it's not a Mac) on his computer and find the settings for the mouse. What you do is you swap the buttons of the mouse. As in ... make a right click a left click, a left click a right click and voilà you will have just confounded the bejeezus out of him. It'll drive him crazy for a few minutes before he falls to his knees begging for help. I like it when they beg

Pranking Perfected

At work the other day, a coworker of mine tried to pull a prank on our boss. Alas, he ended up getting caught red handed with his hand in the proverbial cookie jar.

Needless to say, the boss man wasn't very happy about finding him alone in his office, either. I told the newly minted office hall monitor that unless he plans on a change of careers he should plan his next prank a little more carefully.

Just between you and I, he told me he didn't really plan at all. Go figure.

So, for those of you who aspire to become a legendary office prankster here are a few tips to help you prepare to prank:

Less is more
The more people who know you are planning a prank, the less likely it is to ever get off the ground. Only tell people who have a real need to know. Don't get over excited and spill the beans early. No prank has ever achieved maximum effectiveness by having an early coming out party.

Patience is indeed a virtue
This is one time you'll need to wait for the prefect environment to develop. Think of yourself as a tiger. No self respecting tiger would announce he was about to pounce, he'd just pounce. Say it with me, "Wait for it ... Wait for it ... Maul it!!" In the world of pranking timing really is everything.

Don't show up empty handed
Nothing worse than having your plan together, going on you way to execute it and then BAM! You discover you left half your prank supplies behind. Think like a boy scout and be prepared.

Follow these three basic guidelines and you'll increase your chances of success threefold. You'll also reduce your risk of getting caught with you pants down then next prank you pull.

Pranking 101: Pick Your Victim Wisely

I remember the day (it would be around the third grade or so) when I discovered the wonders of the spitball. Being a girl made spitballing all the more fun as I sat in math class.

See the boys never expected to get plunked by me and the teachers lived in denial that my cute innocent face was capable of such a despicable act. So I flew under the spitball radar for much of elementary school. My spitballing actually served to prepare me for life. It was through spitballs I learned who to prank at work and who to stay away from.

Here is a short list of three types of people NOT to prank unless you want to get spanked (and not in the fun way many of you are thinking).

First up is a guy I liked to call Stinky McStinkface.

You’ll recognize Mr. McStinkface by the way his shoulders sag and his mouth has that permanent upside down look to it. He’s the guy with the polyester pants, a sleek comb over, and no sense of style or joy because he learned long ago the world hates him. Prank Stinky McStinkface and you may wind up dialing 9-1-1. (Or the nearest unemployment office)

Then we have Nancy the Narc.

Seems no one likes a tattle-tale as an adult, either. But, alas, they have managed to slither their way into offices the world over. You may want to bask in the glory of your slickest prank yet, but inviting Miss Nancy is sure to get you called to the boss’s office for … you guessed it … a spanking. So prank this candy ass at your own peril.

Finally we are left with the quasi nerd slash minister’s son I like to call Dave the Do-gooder.

Dave’s the kind of guy who’ll smile as you pull your prank and then once you gone, he’ll pray for your deliverance from sin and slip a note to the boss. This ultimately wins you… that’s right… another spanking.

The bottom line here? If you are going to prank at the office do what I did. Start small with spitballs and work your way up.

Before You Try this At Home

I’m sure this goes without saying, but I figured I’d offer up a little warning to all you faithful readers out there. (I’m operating under the assumption that there are faithful readers out there…)

I know yesterday’s post, with it’s You Tube links probably had you scrambling to see if you could pull off a mega stunt in your own workplace—I know I was chuckilng at the thought all afternoon. But before you go all out, make sure you take careful note of what’s going on in your office.

It’s no secret that we’re in a bit of an economic crunch right now, and yes, even the big corporation you work for is probably feeling the sting. So now would NOT be the best time to avail yourself of a ton of company resources for a large scale prank. Covering your buddy’s office in yellow post it notes may seem hilarious, but it might just have your boss seeing red at the wasted sticky notes.

Also, make sure you plan your pranking according to what’s going on in the office. Popping out of the toilet stall at 4:45 on a lazy Friday afternoon to scare your buddy when the boss has gone home for the day is awesome.

Popping out of that same stall on a Monday morning and scaring the daylights out of a new or potential client? Not so much.

Poor Ol' Jeff

Needless to say, I have seen quite a few pranks pulled around my office and have even pulled one or two myself.

There was this time when Jeff (he is the office manager who does he best to keep us all on the straight and narrow) took a week off for vacation with this wife. First off I want to say that it was kind of his fault we pranked him while he was gone. I mean come on, you can’t be the office manager and NOT expect nefarious activities taking place in your absence can you?

So the first day he was on vacation we began taking prank ideas. Now something to point out here is to really get someone good you have to try and get inside their head. See, the more you personalize the prank the more effective it is. With Jeff this came a lot easier to us than we thought it would. We tossed out the usual ideas, stuff like putting super glue on his pens or covering his office in Post-it Notes.

See Jeff is rather Monkish and is a walking hand sanitizer most days, everything must me symmetrical and all that. So what we decided to do was almost devilish considering his phobias.

We decided to wait until the day before he came back and plastic wrap his desk. But we weren’t just wrapping the desk. We decided to wrap things up in the desk. We wrapped up toilet tissue (dipped in chocolate pudding), a hot beef sandwich left smeared on his desk top, tapioca pudding flung on the wrapping to look like the residue of someone’s sneezing. All of the files in his cabinet were turned around backwards and tabs switched around on the folders.

When Jeff came back from vacation we all thought the poor guy was going to cry. He stood there, hands folded across his stomach as if he was about to vomit. It took him nearly three hours to clean the mess and he had to use breathing masks while cleaning. He was so freaked out about the germs.

It wasn’t the prettiest prank we ever pulled but it sure got Jeff better than anything we had ever done before or since.

Three Awesome Pranks

I love me some good old fashioned office pranks, just like the next person. But sometimes, I need a little help planning my next prank attack. When I am running low on ideas all I have to do is jump online and head to You Tube.

I thought it only fair of me to share some of the pranks that are on their way to an office near mine.

This first one is called “Toilet Prank”. The name was a bit miss leading at first. I was expecting something that would nasty up the office a bit. What I did find was the perfect prank to pull on someone when a port-a-potty is available. It’s a little resource heavy, but would be a lot of fun to pull off.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Cm1r3d2Qw4&feature=related

I know I wrote a recent blog about the ten reasons you shouldn’t prank your boss but this next video was fall off my chair funny.If you have an office like this guy, you should be able to pull this one off with relative ease.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jb2tztSqCHY&feature=related

There are pranks and then there are pranks. The more elaborate the prank the better it seems it is for effect. This one looks as if a couple of employees have finally found a way to prank Mr. Cranky Pants. No one should ever have to work for a sissy boss like this guy.If you ever do I’ve found the perfect way to get back at him.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4F8qs3Z_v-8

I know there are a lot more funny office prank videos on You Tube but those three really had my busting a gut laughing. I think part of me was living vicariously through a few of the pranksters. Sometimes it’s best if you let others test drive the prank before you “try it at home”.

10 Reasons to NEVER Prank the Boss

Having a laugh at the office is always a great way to start the day (or end a really long one). We all enjoy a good prank now and again … or do we? Just as the Surgeon General is mandated to warm us of the dangers of cigarette smoking, so to should there be a warning written into every new hire checklist. Beware of pulling off the ole office prank on the boss.

Ten Reasons you should NOT prank your boss:

10. Fancy moving your desk to Storage Room B?
9. Do you really want to work the weekends?
8. He has no sense of humor what so ever and will make you his permanent lunch time pet.
7. You’ll be forced to scrub the office toilets with a toothbrush while listening to endless duets by Barry Manilow and Michael Bolton.
6. Ramen noodles really aren’t as good as you made them out to be in college.
5. Because staying up partying with the new hot twins in 6D then sleeping in until noon won’t get you paid.
4. He just finished getting his black belt in “Prank me and I’ll fire your ass”.
3. Because if pranking him is wrong, you don’t want to be right.
2. He may like it and make you the office Designated Humor Homer. Talk about pressure!
And the number one reason why you should never EVER under any circumstances pull an office prank on your boss is…
1. He may make you dress up like Julia Child and serve jelly rolls and orange juice at the next quarterly sales meeting.
Now before you make your move and fall victim to one of the ten previously listed reasons not to do what you are about to, take a moment to reflect. Then, if you must…

PRANK YOUR BOSS WITH RECKLESS ABANDON!!

Ever dreamed of being published? Reading your own thoughts and ideas on some online news journal or magazine? Well guess what? I’d love to make that happen for you.

But I can’t.

Ah but what I can do is take your most hilarious prank, or ideas for a prank and share them with my other readers right here. Have a story you’d like to share?
I mean why create the world’s funniest or coolest office prank ever and then not share it?

Haven’t you heard that sharing is caring? Imagine being able to reach out and touch thousands, perhaps millions (ok so although we have a significantly smaller following I’m try to get you to see the full potential here) of people with your very own special brand of humor.

Think of all of the poor old shut ins who can’t go outside each day… those desperate souls in dire need of a good gag. Imagine the smile breaking out all over grandma’s face as she whips out your prank and becomes the toast of the quilters club. I know it would make you feel really good deep down inside to be the person responsible for Aunt Gladys spitting her dentures halfway across the living room floor.

Or how about providing much needed aid to others across the globe who are desperately trying to even the score with a smarty pants coworker who always seems to get the best of them. You’re prank could be just the right tonic for forlorn office workers.

So send me your weak, your tired, your weary… Wait, wrong blog. Send me some pranks!!

No Joke: Office Pranks to Retire

Every weekday morning I jump on the 405 and head downtown to my beloved office. This morning, as I was stopping, starting and stopping again (I love LA) my mind wandered off, as usual, in an unexpected direction.

It’s not that I’m easily distracted or anything. It’s just… HEY LOOK A SQUIREL!

At any rate, today, my meandering thoughts were caught up on all the pranks my coworkers and I have enjoyed pulling on each other over the years. Some of them left me utterly speechless (my new Durango wrapped in plastic cling wrap and then covered in aluminum foil: thanks Doug!) while others made me wonder what the point of the prank was (I knew you it was you, Ronny, who put the black shoe polish on my new office phone's receiver. I knew it was you because the phone was beige, genius.)

So I decided share with you a few office pranks desperately in need of retiring. Listen up Doug and Ronny, these are for you.

First up –
Removing all but two or three of my staples. It’s in the same category as wondering if my teen sister is going to ask me for $20 for a “soda” when I take her to the mall… a given. I now load my stapler first thing every morning. I know it’s coming and you know it’s coming. Let’s just pretend I am on to you, k?

The paper clip chain – This one reminds me of Christmas and those strings of popcorn that all those happy television families make every year. If you are going to insist on using this one at least try and come up with some new twists?

Maybe you could dress up like one of the Capital One guys and swing it like a mace from the light fixtures. That, at least, would garner some fresh laughter. Otherwise, let this one die already.

Post it note free for all – I have seen virtually every variation know man in an office environment of this prank. Yes, the purple, powder blue and pink look nice together. They even earned a chuckle or two the first 50 times I saw it. Now, it’s just old. Oh, and plastering them all over the saran wrap that’s stretched over the toilet bowl? You gave away your first genuinely clever prank in months. Try again, Dougey ol’ boy.

Sticky Fingers!

There are millions of people in the United States… and most every one of us is obsessed with our electronics. That’s probably why most of us have such short fuses (pun intended) when it comes to glitches in our favorite wired devices.

Let’s face it, there are few things quite as frustrating as going to log onto the internet, listen to your music, or just get work done—only to find that something just isn’t working right. That’s exactly what inspired Daniel, from the Chicago area, to send in this email. He figured it’d be completely sweet to freak out his cube mate into thinking that his computer keyboard and mouse weren’t working right.

Devious, I know… but oh so funny:

“I was cleaning out my garage on a Sunday afternoon, when I came across an old keyboard and mouse that I no longer use. I was about to toss them when I realized how much it looked like the ones we have at work. They wouldn’t really pass a careful inspection, but they’d sure fool someone for a few minutes. I suppose that’s when my plan was hatched.

First, I took out the ball from the mouse. Then I applied some extra strength glue to it and put it back in. By the time it dried, it wasn’t rolling ANYWHERE. Then I carefully popped out the keys and spread a thin layer of corn syrup before putting them back on.

First thing Monday morning, I swapped my coworker’s keyboard and mouse for my sticky keyed versions. Not really sure what was funnier—watching him try to roll that mouse around the desk, his frustrated questioning of WHY his keys were sticking, or the look on his face when he realized that he’d just fallen victim to an office prank”

Ha ha… thanks, Daniel! If anyone else has a great office prank story, feel free to send them in!