No Joke: Office Pranks to Retire

Every weekday morning I jump on the 405 and head downtown to my beloved office. This morning, as I was stopping, starting and stopping again (I love LA) my mind wandered off, as usual, in an unexpected direction.

It’s not that I’m easily distracted or anything. It’s just… HEY LOOK A SQUIREL!

At any rate, today, my meandering thoughts were caught up on all the pranks my coworkers and I have enjoyed pulling on each other over the years. Some of them left me utterly speechless (my new Durango wrapped in plastic cling wrap and then covered in aluminum foil: thanks Doug!) while others made me wonder what the point of the prank was (I knew you it was you, Ronny, who put the black shoe polish on my new office phone's receiver. I knew it was you because the phone was beige, genius.)

So I decided share with you a few office pranks desperately in need of retiring. Listen up Doug and Ronny, these are for you.

First up –
Removing all but two or three of my staples. It’s in the same category as wondering if my teen sister is going to ask me for $20 for a “soda” when I take her to the mall… a given. I now load my stapler first thing every morning. I know it’s coming and you know it’s coming. Let’s just pretend I am on to you, k?

The paper clip chain – This one reminds me of Christmas and those strings of popcorn that all those happy television families make every year. If you are going to insist on using this one at least try and come up with some new twists?

Maybe you could dress up like one of the Capital One guys and swing it like a mace from the light fixtures. That, at least, would garner some fresh laughter. Otherwise, let this one die already.

Post it note free for all – I have seen virtually every variation know man in an office environment of this prank. Yes, the purple, powder blue and pink look nice together. They even earned a chuckle or two the first 50 times I saw it. Now, it’s just old. Oh, and plastering them all over the saran wrap that’s stretched over the toilet bowl? You gave away your first genuinely clever prank in months. Try again, Dougey ol’ boy.