Pranking 101: Pick Your Victim Wisely

I remember the day (it would be around the third grade or so) when I discovered the wonders of the spitball. Being a girl made spitballing all the more fun as I sat in math class.

See the boys never expected to get plunked by me and the teachers lived in denial that my cute innocent face was capable of such a despicable act. So I flew under the spitball radar for much of elementary school. My spitballing actually served to prepare me for life. It was through spitballs I learned who to prank at work and who to stay away from.

Here is a short list of three types of people NOT to prank unless you want to get spanked (and not in the fun way many of you are thinking).

First up is a guy I liked to call Stinky McStinkface.

You’ll recognize Mr. McStinkface by the way his shoulders sag and his mouth has that permanent upside down look to it. He’s the guy with the polyester pants, a sleek comb over, and no sense of style or joy because he learned long ago the world hates him. Prank Stinky McStinkface and you may wind up dialing 9-1-1. (Or the nearest unemployment office)

Then we have Nancy the Narc.

Seems no one likes a tattle-tale as an adult, either. But, alas, they have managed to slither their way into offices the world over. You may want to bask in the glory of your slickest prank yet, but inviting Miss Nancy is sure to get you called to the boss’s office for … you guessed it … a spanking. So prank this candy ass at your own peril.

Finally we are left with the quasi nerd slash minister’s son I like to call Dave the Do-gooder.

Dave’s the kind of guy who’ll smile as you pull your prank and then once you gone, he’ll pray for your deliverance from sin and slip a note to the boss. This ultimately wins you… that’s right… another spanking.

The bottom line here? If you are going to prank at the office do what I did. Start small with spitballs and work your way up.